Adriana Auderset Art

       

Geneva 8.5.06 By their fruits you shall know them “I have put all my hopes in women. I strongly feel that the ultimate victory of non-violence depends wholly on women. I believe the strength which women possess is given them by God. Hence they are bound to succeed in whatever they undertake”. Mahatma Gandhi. God is part of the chaos as well as the creativity in my life, the unconscious as well as the conscious. Ammachi’s (Mother’s)Darshan (blessings of a holy one) nourishes a deep hunger of the heart for bhakti yoga (the path of devotion) in the West. Amma came to Sydney a few days before Easter. The programme was held in a large hotel in Warwick Farm. I went there with the train and got a lift home in the evening with St. John. Amma was full of bliss as usual, uplifting people with her power of unconditional love. Amma’s Australian tour is a huge fundraising event for all her charity programs in India. The coordinators in Australia, who are in charge of organising, Amma’s programs, are handling large amounts of money, I experienced first hand how they defend their power, they do not let anyone from outside come to close. Around every famous, Guru the followers are rivalling and fighting for fame, esteem, power and money. I got some very clear messages that I was not welcome to their club, however everyone was encouraged to book the programs and pay by credit card! It is amazing how Amma has become in a few years a multi million dollar enterprise. Her programs are the same all around the world, her blessing, some inspirational talk, Indian devotional songs and meditation.  Due to the feeling of lack of sense and spirituality in the West many Guru’s and their organisation become very powerful and wealthy. Over the Easter week-end I went once more down to the BK centre in Wilson, I enjoyed the silent retreat and the company of the BK’s very much. With much love

 

Sydney 15.1.06 With Good’s Grace all doors are opening. Today is Sunday, a cloudy but hot day, it feels somehow like a miracle, but I am sitting in front of the PC in Tony’s house in Newtown, Sydney. Let me share some of my good luck with you. It is now just over a week that I have arrived at Sydney airport, with 30 hours delay. Our plane had hydraulic problems and we were stranded in Malaysia. I had contacted the Amma group in Sydney over the Internet letting them know that I would be coming and that I was hoping to be able to stay with some of Amma’s devotees. After only three days staying with Joe in Narellan in the country I went with the train to Erskineville, to the local coordinators house, Phil and Jenny and asked them if they could help me find accommodation. They invited me for dinner in their house and let me stay overnight in their spare bedroom. The next day I felt exhausted, the heat, jetlag, sunburn it all was too much, my voice just went, the throat and chest hurt badly, I was coughing and I was afraid of getting a bronchial infection.  Jenny gave me Tony’s number and said that he had a spare bedroom. Tony came in the evening, and offered me that I could stay for a few weeks in his house.  He picked me up on Thursday night and since then I am here. The house is located in Newtown, it has two levels and has a front and backyard garden, three bed and two bathrooms. I do not miss anything. I feel very grateful and fortunate that I am able to stay here, within two days I was able to relax and let go the stress of travelling and curing my infection with ginger tea and magnesium chloride. Tony has been to India, to Baba and enjoys eating vegetarian food.

 

I also enjoyed staying with Jenny and Phil, we had a lot to share, and they have just come back from a trip to Europe with Amma. As usual I took plenty of Swiss cheese and chocolate with me. Even though I was told that no food items could be taken into Australia, I could bring Swiss cheese. So when I arrived I went to the Red Gate, Goods to declare and said that I had Swiss cheese and chocolate, the agent asked if that was all and said I was free to take it. Who can refuse the best? So this week I plan to bake a tart with Swiss cheese. We are now waiting to be with Amma, again. Tony will see her for the first time, but he is already active in charity work. Amma has a soup kitchen here they serve breakfast once a week to the poor at Kings Cross Street. Amma’s astrologer in India has told me to come to Sydney and Amma has confirmed it when I last saw her in Toulon, France in 2005. Last evening I went with my next door neighbour to Amma’s Sat sang in Rose Bay. I took some of the Swiss chocolate along and they found it exquisite. Before we had a swim in Bondi beach, it was very crowded but lovely to see it again after 21 years. Amma will visit Australia in April 2006, we will see her in Sydney and maybe also go to some other places where she will be, Cairns, Melbourne, Brisbane and Gold Coast. We will all be busy preparing, we expect a gathering of about 3000, so just imagine the amount of food and drinks needed. They have a concert and dinner party planned for fundraising. Yesterday we planted flowers called Marigold.

 

I was also grateful to Joe to come and pick me up at the airport and for letting me stay in his house in Narellan, and I told him and thanked him, however I did not feel comfortable there, and it was too far away, and very complicating to get around. To go to the city I had to take a bus ride first and then a train ride for over one hour. I felt that I would need too much time just for travelling and would not be able to go anywhere.  I think that he was quite excited about my visit, he is a pensioner he has plenty of time but not many friends. His only hobby seems to be bowling. He had made all kind of plans in his head of what we could do together while I was there. The first day I was there he took me to some local wine shop to buy plenty of bottles to get drunk, at night when he was quite tipsy he asked me to join him in his water bed. To become Mrs. Rainer no three was not my dream, the next day on the beach he could not wait to rub the sun cream on my shoulders and was lying almost on top of me, even though there was plenty of space on the beach.  I felt quite tense, got sun burnt as he had forgotten to take the umbrella he had promised to take. I had a feeling that I was not going to stay for long, however it was clear that I needed to move and find another place to stay immediately.

 

When I came the first time to Australia in 1984, Joe was still living in a flat, in Five docks, together with my cousin Lotti. He then built his own house and has lived there since 20 years, spending a lot of time commuting for work. Lotti told me when I last saw her in Switzerland that she has left Joe some years ago and bought her own house. She is working in Paramatta and also commuting, she is also very far away from the centre. I did not feel staying with her would be a good option; however I hope to be able to meet her some times and catch up. She never said much about her divorce and I did not ask. From staying three days with Joe I can understand without words! When I moved to Tony’s house, he became aggressive; I had to call for help, the neighbours called the police. I spare you with the details, however he managed to run away with the house keys, but Tony said not to worry, that we knew where he was and the police left me their card and said that I should call if he showed up once more. Somehow he has gone bananas, maybe living alone for too long and also not having worked out the trauma of divorce. My mother was always treating him like a king when he came with Lotti to Switzerland. She used to invite them to go up to the mountains, eat in the restaurants, buy them many presents, even though my mother has much less than he has. He said that if he would sell his house he would get 300’000 dollars, a nice sum as he is considering moving back to Austria, where he can live for free with his brother. Anyway he is out of my life and I am grateful for that too.

 

I have one more new friend, the neighbour’s cat, who is at present lying on my bed taking a nap. He has adopted me the moment he put his eyes on me and is showing his affection continuously. When I get around I will send you a picture of him, he is such a darling. He now shifted his sleeping place; he put his spine against my feet under the PC table. He stayed around me ever since I moved in. His presence is so soft and his energy touches my heart. My cousin Lotti is also a great cat lover and used to have several cats. They are such tender beings. I always dreamt of living in a house with a garden and a cat! Now I have it all, it is only lent to me, however I appreciate it so much and feel so grateful for receiving Good’s Grace. I am also aware that all can be taken away in a minute, and we have to work hard to install peace on Earth. Our Lord mongers are too pleased if we fight with each other for trivialities, which keep us away from the real issue. We need to free ourselves from our old baggage and bondages, forgive ourselves and others and try to live in love and harmony wherever we are. Friendship is the most precious gift we have, let us not throw it away and stamp on it. Wishing you love and peace in 2006

 

Sydney 16.1.06. A step into freedom. Thank you for your mail. I am so fortunate to be able to use the PC with Internet connection at the house, no need to go to any Library or Internet café. This morning it was raining and I felt like working in the front garden. I noticed yesterday that the flower trees got attacked by insects and spiders, so I was chasing spiders all morning. Yesterday I was chasing them from the kitchen cupboard. I was told before coming here that there were a lot of spiders, so now that I moved into the house they have to move out. Coming here from cold Europe is quite a change, it is very hot and humid and my body takes time to adjust, the chest is still congested. However I get enough rest now and can slowly relax and sink into this new reality. I took my brushes, oil and water colours with me, all I need is canvas. As soon as the sun comes out again I will also take some images of Sydney harbour, the Opera house, the ferry ride over to Manley, the beginning of a new film. Then I also plan a trip to the Blue Mountains, to Katoomba and Blackheath.

 

In 1984, I went to Blackheath to the Buddhist Meditation Academy, to study the technique of Vipassana, by Goenka, after Sayat Ju Ubah King from Burma. They teach the original form of Meditation, taught by the Buddha. Each course lasts for 10 days,  all students are requested to meditate all day, from 4 am to 9 pm in total silence, under the instruction of the teacher. I took my first course in India, in Dhammagiri, with Master Goenka. 21 years ago he gave a course in Blackheath which I attended. A lot of the teaching was in Sanskrit and Pali, as it was handed down through many generations. I spent all together about three months in the meditation centre, of which about 70 days in total silence. Meditation means, going back to the roots, of suffering, releasing the past, not worrying about the future, just living in the present moment, aware of each breath as it comes in as it goes out. It was not easy to study meditation, I often wanted to run away, but then I realised that I was just running away from myself, from my sufferings and pain and that I had to learn to accept and practice equanimity about it. I learnt all about Buddha’s teaching, first hand, the four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. Life is suffering and first I have to free myself in order to help anyone else.

 

In 1997 I started studying Buddhism with the Vietnamese Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, in Plum village, France. In 1999 a group of 180 people from 15 different countries went for three weeks with Nhat Hanh to China to practice Zen in Buddhists Monasteries. In one Monastery we planted cypress trees.  Wherever I go now, I plant some trees, flowers and herbs and help to start compost, as we should all stop to produce so much garbage. In Geneva we have bins to recycle, here too but apparently not for compost. I noticed in the three houses I stayed that what could be composted all goes into the kitchen rubbish. We create tons of rubbish due to lack of awareness that Planet Earth cannot take it anymore. It is up to each and every one of us to change our bad habits of polluting and make a difference.

 

18.1.2006. Get up and go.  Dearest, you said before I left, that you feel that I will do very well in Australia and that I would develop new methods of healing. Thank you for your inspiration and taking time to read about my Australian adventures. It is because of your encouragement I feel inspired to sit before the PC and write. Two weeks ago I left Switzerland for a new adventure, for Australia. It is raining, hot and humid, while in Russia people endure minus 20. Yesterday Tony brought a box of Mangoes home, the smell was delicious and so was the taste. The day before we were eating rock melon it was also very sweet and juicy. Last night I went to Jenny’s house asking her about art classes, she gave me a brochure of Sydney Community College, (SCC), summer 06, they offer courses on visual arts, drawing, painting, photography, film and video, video camera technique, editing on Mac, iMovie and Final Cut Pro 4, Illustrator and Quark Xpress.  All these classes would help in designing my future brochures, step by step progress into a new direction, into a brighter future, but the most important for me is to paint, and to develop my healing abilities, the computer programs can wait. Time will tell us, I am here to investigate what possibilities I would have here and consider a move from Switzerland. I start with giving a workshop on “free your creativity” next Saturday, Jenny is my first student. She asked me to paint a portrait of her husband Phil and her son. So yesterday I went to look for canvas and found some in a Chinese shop. It is just cheap cotton, not the good quality I am used to from Russia, but it will do. I took a few tubes of oil colour with me as well as my brushes and spatulas. I had a bash yesterday after noon in Tony’s backyard, not easy without the easel and with a very limited range of colours. I felt good having started and it will be the base for my art classes here. It is always better to take a real canvas along, together with the photos.

 

Yesterday morning I called my cousin Lotti at her work in Paramatta, she told me that she is very busy as she has two jobs; she needs the extra money to pay back her mortgage for the house. She bought her own house when she divorced. We agreed to meet next week at Campeltown, the same train station I had to get off for Narellan. I am looking forward to meeting her and seeing where she lives. She left Switzerland 25 years ago to come to work in Australia, and she has not have the desire to go back, however she comes every second year to visit her family and friends. It was interesting for me to see where she had lived for the past 15 years. She used to tell us when she came but it is difficult to imagine without seeing a place. The SCC also offers courses on Investing in a Property for First Home Buyers. I always wanted to buy a house or a flat but never felt the courage to do it, as my mother was very much against it. People who own property are winners in the long run, renting is very expensive. It is also good to have a piece of land and a garden. Ideally I would like to share a large property, so that we can learn to live peacefully together. I trust that God will show me the way. With much love

 

19.1.2006. Enjoying your freedom. I am enjoying the leisure of reading once more a novel of Chilean author Isabel Allende, translated from Spanish into German. I took the book with me to give it to my cousin Lotti, as I am sure that she will also love to read a German book. It is always good to read in one’s mother tongue. Isabel Allende’s novel got world fame; in 1984 she was considered to be the most successful writer in the world. Isabel is the nice of President Salvador Alliende, who was killed during the Military Putsch in 1973. This novel is full of Chile’s history, interesting personalities, compared to all the rubbish that is published, it is a real pleasure to read it once more and I can only recommend it if you come across it and have some leisure time. The same is true for films, so much rubbish is produced, huge budgets wasted, and it is good that we can now produce digital films. The production cost is much less which means that many people in Third World countries are able to produce digital films on a shoe string budget. After the production is the distribution, another challenge to find TV channels and movie theatres to show them. So films produced in Third World countries are shown during some festivals but almost never in their respective countries. In Latin America some cooperatives start showing these films in the villages where until now they had no movie theatres, as these are only in the capitals and show cheap Hollywood soap opera productions. Bollywood is just as huge and produces even more trash. I am very eager to study these new techniques, and find ways to produce and distribute good films which will help us grow.

 

The rain has not yet stopped, I have an order to do a portrait, but as always I feel that it is quite impossible to do, that it will never resemble the person. When it somehow does I feel quite overwhelmed. So I will give it a try even though I do not have very good colours with me to make a portrait. I can always paint a base and then take it to finish it at the classes I am planning to take in February. I have to occupy myself until the classes start. Today I am one week in Tony’s house and feel very good here. He said that I could stay several weeks, so I should be able to relax and let go of some of my accumulated stress. It feels so good to be away of Geneva, this trip is saving me from getting depressed during the long cold and grey winter months. However it took me two weeks to get adapted to this climate and to overcome the jetlag and the bronchial congestion from the flight and air condition. Luckily I did not have to take any anti-biotic.

 

Magnesium chloride is now always in my travel case, it is a cheap medicament and very efficient for all kinds of colds. I mix it with a litre of cold water and drink it during a day and it calms down and eventually heals all symptoms. My friend Beat wrote me that my mother also had bad bronchitis and had to take anti-biotic. She had a vaccination for influenza. The doctors like to vaccine old people I think that it is the best way to get rid of our old people. With the vaccine they sure do catch all kind of infections; they will then have to go for treatment, good business for the Parma Industry and the doctors. Injecting all this poison to our old people is criminal, they can’t wait to use Tamiflu, they have been manipulating the media for several months with the Bird flue, and Tamiflu is very poisonous and will kill thousands. My mother has always trusted the doctors more than me. Now that the rain has stopped for some time I can either start painting in the back yard or go for a walk down to Kings Street. This Saturday there will be a fundraising dinner for Amma, so I will meet some other Australian devotees. With love

 

 

 

 

20.1.2006. The Art of Living. Yesterday I had a walk along King Street in the local neighbourhood. I stopped by the local community centre and saw that they offered a Vipassana Meditation course from 7-8 pm. Outside the Hare Krishna devotees were offering free vegetarian food to the Hungry in Sydney. I also enjoyed a plate before joining the Mediators. I was happy to find out that it was the same Vipassana meditation in the tradition of Sayayi U Ba Khin, taught by S.N. Goenka I studied 21 years ago.  We meditated with Goenka’s instruction from an audio tape. Vipassana is a science of the mind understanding and purifying the mental process. In meditation one becomes aware of so many things; it creates inner peace through inner wisdom. The meditator starts to understand the impermanence of this world faces the tensions and problems of daily life in a clam and balanced way. It is a systematic way of developing insight, self-mastery and real peace of mind. During a 10 days course the meditator can transform his mind and character, develop equanimity to suffering and joy, and get inner peace through inner wisdom. It helped me accepting what is and to stop blaming others for what is not working in my life. I am also aware when others are blaming me or are throwing their anger and frustration at me for what I have no responsibility. I am free to refuse their gifts and let them cool down. Sometimes it takes a long time. After the meditation, they gave me some pamphlets with all the information on the 10-days residential courses in Blackheath, Blue Mountains. Amazing how it all comes to a full circle. When the rain stops I will go on a train trip up to the Blue Mountains with my video camera.

 

The Australians only have few TV channels free of charge, not very interesting programs, for better one’s they have to pay. So I won’t get sucked into TV as I sometimes did during winter in Geneva, especially in 2003 when they manipulated us into the 2nd Golf War.  Last night I watched the DVD “Himalaya”, I enjoyed it very much. There are a few more interesting ones in the house, which I can watch. Watching good films is one of my preferred hobbies. I prefer seeing the films on large screens end enjoy seeing the good ones once more on DVD. So there is a copy of “Gandhi” waiting for me. I can’t believe my good luck to have some leisure time to get up make a cup of tea and start writing and reading. This morning three colourful parrots were chattering and chirping on the tree outside the front yard. Today I need to change some money and after I plan a trip to the town centre and if the weather stays OK over with the Ferry boat to Manly, so I can take some images of the Harbour with the Sydney Opera house. From here I can travel to the Inner City with a bus or a train. I give thanks and praise to Amma for all she has provided for me here in Sydney and trust that she will let me stay in this lovely house as long as I need it for the work she has sent me to do, whatever that is we might know one day. I also met some young people in the street with a stand, distributing pamphlets,  3 Years of Occupation, 100,000+ Dead, “Troops Out of Iraq”, initiated by the Sydney Stop the War Coalition. Two thirds of Australians are against the war in Iraq. Next week they organise a conference here in Newton Community Centre, so it will be easy for me to attend.

 

 

22.1.2006. Free your creativity. Dearest, whilst people are suffering from depression caused by the cold Russian winter of 30 minus, difficult life, not enough sun and light we have too much of it here in Australia. Down under, it is extremely hot and humid and going out during daytime is exhausting. Yesterday the rain has stopped, it is now very sunny, humid and extremely hot. Today, I have no special plans; I probably stay most of the day in the house and will go to some beach in the evening. I recovered from the sun burn I got the first Sunday I was here. From here I can take a bus from Kings Road to go to a local beach; however there are thousands of beaches here to be discovered. Yesterday I set out on the train to take some images of the harbour with my video camera, but when I got there and took the camera out there was some technical problem which did not let me register. I could not solve it and could not find the answer in the book; I need to find some help.  These cameras are like computers, one needs a lot of time and patience to study them. That is the reason I was so reluctant and waited a long time before buying one. Now that I have it I will need to take some classes to study the technique of filming and editing. Anyway trying to find solutions to technical problems keeps me busy and out of trouble. It is all a learning process. When Amman first came to Switzerland there were no video cameras, now wherever she goes there are professional camera teams.

 

I found some interesting lecture, I am studying a book, “Living with the Himalayan Masters”, by Sri Swami Rama, about the Swamis, great Sages and the Masters of the Himalayas. In this heat I imagine the cold breeze and the freedom they experience. Last night we met in the house of an Indian devotee of Amma, they had prepared a Fundraising dinner, we sang Bajan’s (devotional songs) meditated and then shared a vegetarian meal. After the meal we had some entertainment, singing and dancing and we watched a video on Amma’s charity work. The video on Amma showed what she is achieving all around the world, it was so inspiring. I consider myself very fortunate to know Amma, a Real Mahatma; I pray that with her grace many will be able to reach freedom in this lifetime. She inspires and helps millions of beings to purify the mind, deflate the ego and practice humility. An Indian woman was dancing for us, she was very gracious. I talked to her later; she has come recently from Calcutta to Sydney, to live with her second husband, who has lived here for 30 years. I liked her dancing and proposed her to ask if she could give a performance for Amma's program, here in Sydney in April 06. She looked overjoyed, enthusiastic and very eager to dance for Amma. I asked if there was anyone in the group with video experience but there wasn’t.  I gave Jenny a “free your creativity” lesson in her backyard, and went with her to the art shop to buy some very basic material, paper and brushes. The watercolours and gouache I have with me. She was aware of the fear which is preventing her and was able to let it go and start the creative process. Painting is such a wonderful way to liberate fears and negative energy which gets stuck in us and prevents us from being loving and free to the present moment. So many techniques, combination of colours, forms, perspective, dark and light so many things to explore, a lifetime seems not enough, and it is so vast that it will keep me busy until the very last breath. With love and much sunshine and warmth

 

23.1.2006 Dearest. Yesterday after-noon I took a bus to Coogee Beach. Being Sunday, it was very crowded, the water felt so fresh and the waves where so vigorous. It is quite easy to settle into this new lifestyle here. I feel that people are friendlier and treat each other kinder than in Geneva. I often thought that it was due to the lack of living space which makes people so aggressive, but there is more to that. Most of us have to work so hard to find money to pay for our rents, taxes, insurance, and food to keep up a corrupt system where so many are excluded. People blame their neighbour, friends or their family members for their suffering, they do not analyse deep enough, their own suffering. How can we stop the wars in this world if we cannot stop the war within, it has to start with us, looking at our deep rooted fears that prevent us from happiness and fulfilment in this life. I was overjoyed to read that there is an indictment for the Bush regime. We all need to get up and say NO to any further imperialistic aggressions and war; the Bush administration has done enough damage for many lifetimes. No more soldiers should fight and kill their brothers and sisters in other countries in the name of God or democracy. We need to cultivate loving kindness, forgiveness over trivialities and open our hearts to the suffering of others. As we are awakening and become more and more aware of what really is and not what we would like it to be we can each one of us make a difference and break free from the corrupt system of global domination. I keep writing because you read my letters and encourage me, even though many have turned away not interested to know what I think and write, I do not know their reason, it could be because they feel to lethargic to read,  and escape by getting sucked into TV.  Three hours of TV takes all vital energy you need to live healthy in this world.

We need to see who the sharks really are and stop them from exploiting and destroying the whole planet. We need to understand the system that fosters globalization and leads to the impoverishment to millions of people across the planet. We need hope and a vision for realizing a just and compassionate world that will bring us greater security. So thank you for reading and talk to you soon. With love

 

24.1.2006 Join the global protests against Iraq war. Dearest, thank you for your encouragement to write, I love to share with you. Yesterday was another sunny and hot summer day and I spent my morning reading, a very interesting book, “Confessions of an Economic Hit Man”, New York Times Bestseller, by John Perkins. It is a true story, Perkins was an Economic Hit Men (EHM) he implemented policies that promoted the interest of the US corporatocracy (US government, banks and corporations). EHM are highly paid professionals who cheat countries around the globe out of trillions of dollars. Their tools include fraudulent financial reports, rigged elections, payoffs, extortion, sex and murder.  It is an inside story of how America turned from a respected republic into a feared empire. Perkins job was to convince countries that are strategically important to the US – from Indonesia to Panama – to accept enormous loans for infrastructure development and to make sure that the lucrative projects were contracted to US corporations. Saddled with huge depths these countries came under the control of the US government, World Bank and other US dominated aid agencies that acted like loan sharks – dictating repayment terms and bullying foreign governments into submission. Perkins exposes international intrigue, corruption and the little known inner workings of the US system that fosters globalization and leads to the impoverishment of millions of people around the planet. He reveals the hidden mechanics of imperial control behind some of the most dramatic events in recent history, such as the fall of the Shah of Iran, the death of the Panamanian president Torrijos and the US invasion of Panama and Iraq.  

 

In the afternoon I went again with the bus to Coogee beach, it is about 12 km from where I live. After 4 pm the sun was not too hot and I did not get burnt. When I came back, Tony was cooking delicious pasta, with pesto sauce and parmesan cheese, and fresh green and avocado salad. Today, the weather is cloudy and I will finish reading this book. There are many more interesting books in Tony’s library and good videos.  I might go with my rucksack to the shopping mall for some groceries. Tonight I will go to the Socialist Alternative Public Meeting “Marxism and war” in the Newtown Neighbourhood Centre. I am not interested in communism as I saw with my own eyes what this regime did, however the conference is organised by the stop the war coalition to join the global protests against Iraq war. According to recent statistics the death toll of Iraqi civilians is estimated at 180’000 possibly even 511’000, there are 2200 American soldiers killed, many mutilated for live. March 06 is the 3rd anniversary of this horrendous invasion and war crime. It is time to end the slaughter, to bring the troops home and allow the Iraqi people to determine their own future without Western intervention. “Socialist Alternative is an Australian group of revolutionary socialists who reckon that society should be driven by human need - not profit. We think that "surplus" food which is produced should be given to the hungry, rather than dumped in the middle of the ocean to keep prices high. We think that the people who produce all the wealth in the world - i.e. workers - should have control over what happens to it. We think that ordinary people around the world - from Australia, to South Korea, to the Balkans - have more in common with each other, than they do with the governments and business leaders of their own countries”.

 

Considering that we live in chaos and despair, I have not felt so happy and relaxed in a long time. I have not missed Geneva for a single moment and would not want to be in St. Petersburg with 30 minus!

 

30.1.2006 I feel grateful for the sunny hot days here in Sydney while in Europe and Russia people are suffering from the cold. However the heat is very intense and I have to spend most of the time inside, protected from direct sun. Last week I took a train to Campeltown to visit my cousin Lotti. We enjoyed meeting each other. She came 25 years ago and has settled in Australia, has her own house, with three bedrooms, large garden, car and job. However mortgage rates are high here in Australia 6% or more to pay  her mortgage she has two jobs, she is working about 60 hours a week, as a cook in a hot and hectic kitchen! While it was 27 in Sydney it was 34 in Campeltown, as it is more inland, away from the coast, so the heat is more intense. We sat inside the house with the air-conditioner on and  spent an after-noon together chatting.  The last bushfire was very near her house and was at the time her mother was visiting from Switzerland, so they were very frightened. Imagine having to work so hard for so long and then loose it all in the bushfire. In the evening her boy friend came over for dinner, he drives a long distance truck, he also works about 60 hours a week.  Lotti enjoys cooking and prepared us an Asian dish, we had some drinks and vine and then it was time for me to take the train back, Lotti starts her day at 5 am. She was worried that I wanted to stay with her and made it clear that she did not offer me any room, not even for one night. When her mother visited she took her holidays so they could drive around, however without a car I would feel stuck there and I do not want to be a burden to anyone. I hope that my good luck with the housing continues, to live in Sydney is expensive, the city is very large and spread out and public transportation is expensive and limited.  I discussed with Lotti property prices and she said that they have tripled over the last years. So have the rents, Jenny said that they pay 2000 dollars a month rent for a 4 bedroom house.

 

Amma will be coming in April;  to Perth, then Melbourne, Sydney and Gold Coast. One of her swamis, Ramakrishna is coming end of February to help with the planning of the trip. It will be a large event thousands of people will participate. Last week we cooked and sold food at a concert for fundraising. We worked very hard and enjoyed it very much. Yesterday we met in a devotee’s house to sing bajans, to meditate and to share an Indian dinner. I showed the pictures of my paintings, they all loved them and were very encouraging. I read another excellent book “Living with the Himalayan Masters”, by Swami Rama. It reminded me to stay focused with the spiritual practice of living in the present moment, breathing consciously, and repeating the mantra. I also read an article on the Internet “The Iranian Oil Bourse” will accelerate the fall of the American empire, by Krassimir Petrov PhD, on www.energybulletin.net 18.1.06. Nevertheless deep down I feel that I have to solve the living space, to buy property and not remain on lease for all my life. While I am here I am also paying rent in Geneva. At the same time I try not to create any unnecessary stress. I just heard that the apartment house where my mother lives will be sold, which means that for the third time in her live she has to move out. Now she is getting old and it will not be easy. I wonder if one day she can admit that it was a mistake to insist that renting was better than buying. In the long term renting is very expensive. With love

 

31.1.06. Last day of January 06.  I love to start the day with black tea, milk and jaggery (dark brown sugar) imported from India. This is my morning remedy; it helps me get out of bed and to keep my energy going. After my tea meditation,  I went shopping in ALDI, in the shopping centre just around the corner from where I live. It is so hot and our fridge is 12 years old and not cooling so well, so the milk and juice I bought turned sour very quickly.  Food prices at ALDI are lower than other shops. There are also two dollar shops; they sell everything imported from China. Luckily I can stay in this house so for the moment all is OK. However I am thinking about the future, where to live, I feel that I would love it here, however I need to return back in Switzerland. I have been on the Internet, on www.comparis.ch to check property prices in Switzerland and also to see how much the tax differences are in our different cities. It depends very much from one canton to the other, Geneva seems to be the worst place for singles, followed by Basel, Bern and Zurich. I have been waiting for a long time that the property bubble is bursting, but it isn’t it is still going up and up and I feel so frustrated that I am still renting. I still feel sad that my uncle who did last summer did not want to sell his house to me, he was clinging to everything and fighting until the very last breath. His wish was to sell the house for the maximum price, it did not bring him peace and we do not know who will finally get the house.  In the process the layers and tax authorities will take a big chunk and the rest will be divided between his wife and us, his brothers children. Some families help each other to buy houses and businesses, in my family there was a lot of violence, fear, fighting, blaming and sabotaging of each other. At the burial of my uncle last summer the differences once more came up to the surface. That was when my mother said that I should not come. Since then I have not heard from her directly. She was always blaming me for all her miseries, when I was a child. She probably still feels that way. It was rather difficult to survive and progress in such a hostile family environment.

 

It is not only the living place one has to consider, we need to be able to get some income. It is good to have some savings, but the devaluation is so high and we don’t know what is in stall for us. The Iraq war is costing us billions of dollars, once we become aware that we all have to finance it we become more active to stop it and prevent any other war. We collectively need to change; there is enough for all of us to have a good living, if we do not have to finance the wars anymore.  America needs to be stopped; they have dropped enough bombs and instigated too many wars already. We will get inspiration of how to proceed; we need faith in this critical and most difficult time. We need to stop, take time to find the inner silence and guidance, peace within and let go our inner wars. We must become clear that war is not solving anything, and terrorism is created by the US Empire. They are creating so much hate all around the world with their criminal acts. They must be stopped and demilitarized if we want to have peace on this planet.

 

1.2.06 Dearest. Last night Tony said that I could stay for one more week. So I will try to find accommodation, otherwise I am going back to Geneva earlier than planned. I have to pay a penalty of 200 dollars to change the date of flight, the holidays are over, and so they should have space. I would love to stay a bit longer, and get to know the place a bit better, but I take it as it comes, I do not feel any attachment... It was important that I came, it made me clear up so much accumulated work, now I can travel lighter, not only physically. Of course I already have travel plans, North India is on my wishing list, the Himalayas, where the Great Russian painter Roerich used to live, then Darjeeling, and many other places. So we will see. With love 

 

3.2.06 Dearest. The idea of going back earlier than planned made me feel miserable, so it is definitely not a good idea.  Yesterday I took a train from Central and went up to the Blue mountains, to Katoomba and then to Blackheath, to the Vipassana meditation centre where I meditated 21 years ago. It took me about 4 hours to get there by train, and idem to get back at night, so I spent a long time travelling and I am quite happy that the weather is cloudy today, so I can get a rest. The centre has grown a lot and the atmosphere was inspiring me to book another 10 days course. Divine grace will manifest another place where I can stay and leave my luggage.  Next Monday I am going to visit Helen, another Amma devotee; she invited me to stay overnight and might give me accommodation for a few days, however she already expects a lot of relatives and visitor.  Sydney must be the largest city in the world, it is so much spread out, and it takes time to get to know it. So I will discover another part.  With much love

 

6.2.06 Dearest. Thank you for your mail. I had a very lively week-end, on Saturday morning I went shopping for canvas, in the after-noon I painted lotus flowers in Jenny’s backyard. In the evening I went to the town centre to Govinda, a Hare Krishna temple. We sang Kirtans and Bajans and shared a delicious vegetarian dinner. I met Marina, a Russian woman living here since 15 years. She offered me to stay in her flat if I could not find a place. We walked back to her flat so I could see it.  We agreed to go together to the vegetable and fruit market on Sunday morning to take some footage with the camera. Marina told me that she would like to promote “Forever Young” program and vegetarian diet on a local TV. I took the train to Central and walked up to her flat to get her. On the way to the market we stopped at the Quaker house and joined the group meditation that was going on and shared coffee with them. After the market we enjoyed the celebrations in the streets of the Chinese New Year and then went back to Marina’s flat. Her flat is subsidised by the Government and Marina lives from social security. She lives in the 7th floor and the view is stunning, however the quality of the living is very low as there are many drug addicts living in there.  Marina has a spare room; however it is full of clutter and needs a lot of clearing out work to do. Not only the spare room but the entire apartment needs a lot of clearing. I offered to help her, I know how difficult it is to clear our clutter, and I triggered lots of negative patterns, anger and frustration. We need to bring order into our homes if we want peace in the world that is the first step. Outer order creates inner order or vice versa.  Cleaning the outer windows helps to clean our inner vision. Cleanliness is goodliness. We had a very interesting day together, sharing ideas, we were cooking a meal together, however just as I was about to leave Marina started to become very judgmental and angry.  She did not appreciate the way I had started to clear her clutter in the kitchen, she felt aggressed and that it was not spiritual enough. I was able to work through it with her, to make her see that her clutter was preventing her from what she wanted to do with her live. She shares the flat with a man who apparently is violent. So many women are putting up with violent men and that is just not acceptable.  I promised her that I will give her all the support I can, however she has to do her own cleaning work, and I cannot do it for her. In Geneva I have enough of my own to do. So I can make a cross on that spare room as it involves too much work.

This after-noon I will go over to Helen’s house, she has offered me to stay for a few days in her spare room. Tony lets me stay another week, this Saturday there will be a Sat sang of the Amma group and I can ask if anyone has a spare room where this child can put he luggage. There is a lot of work waiting for me in Australia and also a lot of possibilities for growth that I do not have in Geneva.  I took some images, however you have to bear with me until I can send them.  Take some time to view http://www.nexusmagazine.com/articles/MitarTarabich.html   it is very interesting. I am grateful to have this opportunity to be here and send you sunny and warm greetings and blessings

Sydney, 8.2.06 Love is our essence and we are beings of love.  It is natural that we want to help those in distress, but sometimes we do not have the right tools and skills and instead of helping we create resentment and more chaos. We often try to control, find solutions for others, however so many things happen in life over which we have no control.  I went yesterday evening to the Brahma Kumaris (BK’s) Meditation Centre in Ashfield, Sydney. Sally welcomed me very warmly with coffee and cheese cake and she gave me all the information about the different workshops the BK’s are offering.  One of their centres is in one of the most special regions on Earth, it covers 132 acres, and it is near Leura, in the Blue Mountains. The topic of the workshop for this week-end retreat is “The three pillars of leadership”.  So I will be travelling up there by train on Friday.  Sydney is an interesting city, however I feel that I will enjoy spending time in the Blue Mountains, just as much as I did on my last trip, 21 years ago.  I enjoyed the space, the stillness, peace experience and healing energy. I attended several 10 days Vipassana meditation courses in 1984-5,in Dhamma Bhumi Meditation Centre, situated on 38 acres of land, in Black Heath, high in the Blue Mountains, two hours by train west of Sydney. This was 21 years ago, it ment 10 days of total silence, meditating all day, it is good practice to be in the present moment, just to be and enjoy being,  that can only do me good. Enjoy your freedom

Helen has offered me a room in her house for next week.  I went to meet her on Monday and spend the night there; we had a lot to share and got on very well. The house is spacious, Helen told me that she had been to Amma’s ashram in India and often had Amma’s children staying in her house. She has many friends coming in February and March, also some ex Sai Baba devotees, who got very disappointed and disillusioned with him, when they found out about the sexual harassment of young students.  They had sent their own son to his College in India and he has experienced first hand what happened to many students who went to his private room. He later went there to make a documentary with a hidden camera to denounce him. I would love to get a copy of the film. I think that betrayal by a guru is the worst a soul can experience, far worse than any human betrayal, divorce or abandonment.

"Divine Downfall," the six-page expos* by British investigative journalist Mick Brown makes the case that the man millions around the world hold to be God incarnate, a healer and "miracle worker" on a par with Krishna or Christ, has systematically and for decades sexually abused large numbers of teenage boys. Baba has been "India's most famous and powerful holy man" for nearly 60 years. His official biographer says in a four-volume work that the "saint" was born sinless "of immaculate conception," like the Virgin Mary. When one gets involved with Baba, a very subtle brain washing commences. Sitting for hours in the hot sand waiting for his darshan (blessings) is one of these. When one sees all around with hands in prayer position, one naturally follows suite. Once attached and involved, common sense and logic progressively disappears, until one reaches the point of attributing every small act of living to Baba

Deception by a guru is a very hard lesson. Millions are being deceived. I spent several months in his kingdom, in Andrah Pradesh, South India in 1981-1992-3 and went through the brainwashing machinery. Yesterday after writing to you I went to Google and typed Sai Baba, there are 2,5 millions references, I don’t know what took me so long to find out more about him, probably because the truth is too shocking, so many of us have been deceived and exploited by him in so many ways. Deep down I could feel that there was something fishy, however I could not admit it and still believed that he did so many good things. I read many stories of ex- devotees, all of deception, allegations of murder, rape, sexual abuse, child molesting, corruption and money laundering. He is the richest Swami in India, a multimillionaire, collecting large sums from his rich foreign devotees. His projects in India, water for the poor villages, schools, hospitals, are just the pretext to get more money, nothing functions, there is large scale mismanagement and corruption. He does not need to give accounts to anyone, he is God incarnate and his followers from around the globe trust him blindly. Just to think about how much harm he has done to so many young boys, sexually molesting them, all the misleading of his devotees,  makes me feel deeply grateful that I am not in that organisation anymore. Still there is so much denial of people, after all this evidence they do not want to admit that their Swami is a criminal and should be prosecuted. After spending many months in his ashram in India, I attended his meetings for many years in Geneva. In the after-noon I painted, it helped me to transform the suffering and the feelings of deception. It took me over 25 years to really know who he is. I hope that all who are still under his influence will have enough courage to wake up and see the truth. There is a book I would like to read on this sad story, “Lord of the Air” or “Avatar of Night” Tales of a Modern Antichrist by Tal Brooke.  With love

 

Sydney 9.2.06. Fear of our own greatness. Thank you for your prayers and compassion which are helping me. It is so amazing that we can feel each others energy even so we are thousands of miles away from each other. Yesterday I came back to Sydney after the Blue Mountains week-end retreat at the Brahma Kumaris (BK) meditation centre. These retreat centers are run worldwide by volunteers and the courses and the lodging is offered at no set cost. Donations towards running costs are appreciated but nobody is refused to participate if he has no money.  The beauty and generosity of the BK centre, the secluded environment and the tranquility, the workshop, “The three pillars of leadership” was very healing and inspiring to bring out the best of each one of us. We were a group of about 25, mainly women, few men, we started the workshop by identifying some great Souls and Mahatmas who inspire millions of people, Lord Buddha, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, The Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa and I told them about the work of Amma.  What I learnt for me is that I need to find inner harmony and integrity to get out of the chaos, to further develop and express my creativity, keep healthy and fit. I need to overcome all fears that prevent me of being and living excellence, success and prosperity. I suffered so much that I could fill oceans with my tears, now it is time that all my relationships are creative, encouraging, empowering, loving, supportive and healing. However I cherish all the suffering as I have learnt so much. It is only through deep suffering that we learn to develop compassion. Mandela said that we fear our own greatness! Our purpose is to be the truly wonderful soul that, by our very nature, we already are. Our ultimate goal is freedom from the circle of birth and death.   "Here's the test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you're alive, it isn't." Richard Bach.

 

Yesterday I got a lift to come down the Blue mountains, we passed Campeltown where my cousin is living then drove into the city over the Harbour bridge to Neutral Bay, to  Helen’s, she offered me to stay with her for ten days until she will get the next visitor’s coming. Helen bought her house; she has renovated and decorated it with a lot of good taste. I would like to own a home, move out of my rented flat, I think about it daily, I could move here to Australia, or to some other part in Switzerland, or to the Himalayas? I have been in Australia for one month, all went well for me so far and I trust that it will continue. Live seems easier here than every where else I have been, I feel a kind of freedom. I am not missing my live of Geneva. Maybe it is time to pack up over there and move over the great ocean? Last night I went over to the Hare Krishna temple, they always have a feast on Sunday night. The young people I met there were all very loving and respectful. They told me that they have their own farms in the country where they have cows and where they grow vegetables.  Young people can go and live there when they are disillusioned with the materialistic live style modern society is offering them. They served a delicious vegetarian meal for only 5 dollars and invited to me to come again.

 

Sydney 20.2.06. Open the heart cakra (energy centre) and keep it wide open.

Some of our basic needs to be able to function in our society are shelter, food and transport. Most of us spend so much time and effort for our basic needs, that there is not much time left to think about our real purpose here. We can buy all the luxury  with the money we get from good jobs, we can buy property, space, a large house, cars and good food but feel very isolated in our ivory tower. I started to get worried of where to stay as the places I went to see where impossible. People have spare rooms but they fill them up with so much junk, it is unbelievable. To hang on to so much old junk prevents us from being free to share. We forget that whenever we share and give we do not do it for the other but for ourselves. Space has to do with the opening of the heart cakra and keeping it wide open. 

 

Last Saturday we had a fundraising dinner for Amma’s charities at Jenny’s place and I asked everyone there for accommodation. I went through some despairing moments, considering if I should return. Yesterday I found a flat that is available to rent for 10 weeks until I return on 1 May 06.  I am not exactly excited to move there, the location of the flat is not very inspiring, it is not as comfortable and convenient as Tony’s or Helen’s, but I have no choice and the basic needs are met. It is not too far from the train station, there is also a bus to the centre of the city, and it takes one hour. It belongs to an old Indian woman, a pensioner, who is presently travelling to India, she needs the money.  I can use a small bed room; nobody else will be there in the flat. S. who arranged it, is an Amma devote, he lives in the flat upstairs. He showed me the ashram of Guru Ma who is nearby, a very spacious property. He offered to let me use his computer and telephone and help me with the shopping. I will be moving back from the city, more in the country and there are no shops around to get food. When I asked my cousin for accommodation told me to check out the Backpackers or to do House sitting. I went to look at one in Newtown; they offered shared accommodation, 6 or 8 in a room, not much safety and certainly not very interesting people. So that was an option to be considered if I got really desperate. House sitting is certainly a good option too; I could investigate in for some other trips.  I needed a place now, where I feel safe to leave my belongings.  Marina proposed me to share her flat or that of another old lady living in her building.  I went there again last week but did not feel OK. I prayed that there would be a better solution. Since I have arrived I have shared with three different people, Joe, Tony and Helen. I became very much aware of how we all project to each other unreleased issues and that is a great learning opportunity. We blame the other for our suffering. When we feel vulnerable, we isolate ourselves; we create great walls around us, like ivory towers in order not to suffer anymore.  But it is only through acceptance of this deep suffering that we can heal and grow.

Sydney is very large, most people own cars, public transport is a big issue; if one is not near a train station it is difficult.  Public transport needs to be addressed by the Government; it is the same story all over the world, but probably the worst in India and other 3rd world countries. 21 years ago I was able to stay with my cousin, now she has a house with four rooms on her own but no space. In my small rented apartment in Geneva there is always space for someone to come. My dream is to get a larger space where we can live in joy and harmony, use our creative energy for healing the planet and help us to open up the heat cakra. I will do as much group work as possible with the Amma group and the BK’s, while here in Australia. Once a week I paint, painting allows me to channel the healing energy and not to despair. When I paint I am often in a trance like state of mind, I become the bamboo on which Krishna is playing. I step out of the way so that the creative energy can take over.

 

2.3.06. CelebratingGod.  Today I am writing at Margaret's PC, she is practicing singing and we will go together to the shopping centre in Ashfield after lunch.  This week-end I am going to the Inner Space BK Centre for Spiritual Learning in Wilton. The topic is "Self Managing Leadership". I feel very fortunate to have this time to work on myself, to open up every cell of my being to light, love, peace and joy, to my unique talents, to unlimited wealth and abundance. The law of dharma is to find our divinity, our state of bliss, to share it with humanity. Thinking how can I help instead of what is in it for me, how much do I get out of it.  I received some messages over the Internet, telling me that it is snowing back home and that the temperature is below zero. I felt very grateful, knowing that someone is thinking and caring about me even though I am thousands of miles away from home. I moved last week to Ness Av, in Dulwich Hill, about 10 km from the town centre and 5 from Newtown, where I was before. The first day I felt a bit isolated here, however just thinking about the cold Russian and European weather made me feel fortunate to be here. The outside temperature is now around 25o Celsius, the intense heat of January of 30+, the Australian summer is over and we move into autumn. The temperature is just right; the light is filling my entire being every cell gets transformed and rejuvenated. Ness Av. is very quiet compared to Newtown, no airplanes, no shops nearby; I can relax, read, write, enjoy myself and live free.  I can do whatever I feel like with my days.  I went to see Connie at her Gallery of Modern Art. We had met last summer in Switzerland at the BK retreat in the Jura mountain. She invited me to the birthday party of the BK’s, on Saturday night in their centre in Ashfield. They have a lovely garden and we were lighting candles and enjoying fruit salad. Then we went to their meditation room, we had cake and a talk from their headquarters in Mount Abu, Madubahn India, transmitted over the computer to a large screen.  I got a lift home around 3 am.

 

We arranged that I could rent this flat for the rest of my stay here.  It belongs to an old Indian lady, a pensioner, who is presently visiting her relatives in Mumbai, India and who will be very happy to get some cash when she comes back. Nearby on Garnet St is the Siddha Yoga Meditation Ashram of Gurumayi and Muktananda. The first yoga class I took in Bern was in 1976 with Muktananda. So after moving my luggage I enjoyed going to the Ashram, we chanted the mantra Ohm namah shivaya (I bow to you Lord Shiva). Afterwards I talked to an Australian devotee, a Reiki Master, who has lived for a long-time in Zurich, Switzerland, and who speaks German. I also went there for Mahashivaratri, the great night of Shiva, which was celebrated last Friday. This year it fell on Sunday 26.2.06, the waning moon represents the restlessness of the mind being conquered by the power of spiritual discipline. It is a very auspicious time for meditation and spiritual practice, when the power of one repetition of the mantra is said to be magnified one thousand times. Their Ashram is very large, but only one person lives there, what a waste of space.

 

Saturday morning, I went with Margaret and Ron, my new neighbours from flat 3, to the shopping centre, to get grocery and canvas. Sunday morning they invited me to attend the local church in Petersham. They have opened their heart and house to me and are my family away from home. At church right next to me sat Mark, a blind man, who was rocking back and forwards. I was told that many people living in homes have this rocking syndrome. During the church service I was laying on my hands on his shoulders, he calmed down and stopped the rocking. After the service I had a god talk to him over a cup of coffee about his smoking addiction and asked him why he wanted to kill himself with this terrible drug. He said that he had nothing else in live, I hear that from many people. How sad, because the cigarette cannot give us what we all need, human relations of intimacy love and care. I read "Love and Survival" 8 Pathways to Intimacy and health, by Dean Ornish, MD. He gives scientific basis for Healing Power of Intimacy and reveals that the real epidemic in modern culture is not only physical heart disease but also what he calls emotional and spiritual heart disease: loneliness, isolation, alienation and depression. "A human being is a part of the whole that we call the universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical illusion of his consciousness. This illusion is a prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for only the few people nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living beings and all of nature".  Albert Einstein

 

Sunday evening we had a fundraising workshop followed by a vegetarian Indian dinner with Swami Ramakrishnananda Puri, a senior disciple of Amma. After the program finished there was a torrential rainfall, unusual here I was told. I got a lift back home with St. John, my upstairs neighbour, who had arranged for me to stay in the flat. Monday night we had a Sat sang with the Swami in Bellevue Hill, in the home of a very wealthy devotee, where Amma used to stay during her program in Sydney. I took my camera along and took a few pictures but was severely scolded from the Sydney Managers and asked not to take any more images. Amma's program in Sydney will be very far away, and one needs to book into the hotel. There are retreats planned one in Melbourne and the one over Easter on the Gold Coast in Queensland. The cost is 335 for onsite housing in dormitory accommodation plus transport, which makes it expensive and exclusive to see Amma in Australia. All has to be booked on the Internet with credit cards. Apparently people are flying in from all over Finland, Thailand to be on that only beach retreat. So far no one has offered to share transport or accommodation, they all seem to be so busy worrying about their mortgages and wanting "their own space" I feel that sharing is not really a priority for them. I am glad I was able to spend a few years with Amma before she was that famous. Receive from Australia a ray of golden sun light, creative energy, love, freedom and Self Realisation

 

Sydney 31.3.06.  Today I am writing to you from my next door neighbour's, Margaret. She is letting me use her PC. Time flies and soon my three months visa is expiring and I need to pack and leave Australia. I tried to extend the visa over the Internet, however they charge $200 and I think that this is quite abusive. I also went personally to Immigration, they charge the same, and I talked to an officer there and found out that nothing happens if I stay a bit longer, apparently an officer will talk to me at the airport, that is all, no fines and no prison. I plan to fly back to Geneva after the Easter holiday. While I was here in Dulwich Hill, I painted on my balcony, mainly landscapes, sun, sand and sea.  It takes almost two hours to go to the beach with public transport; I went every week to observe the waves and to memorize them, and to paint them from memory. My first two paintings when I arrived where still mountains, and then I changed to water. I worked with the spatula. Canvases here are made of cotton, very cheap quality from China. I did not bring the best quality of oil colours either, I took some Russian colours of student quality and the Swiss ones which I received last year when we had the open air painting week-end in Geneva. In Russia I was privileged to work with professional quality of oils and linen canvas, so I can make the difference now. Chinese art material quality is like night and day compared with the Russian or European. The difference in the texture, pigment and brightness is huge. The material was good enough to study and experiment, and keep my mind focused and out of trouble.  Now I have to think about the transport, I might take some off the wood frame, roll them and take the lighter ones with me on the plane. I will donate the lotus flowers to the BK meditation centre in Wilson. I am sure that they will appreciate this gift.

 

All the workshops I did with the BK's were fascinating, opening up new avenues in my life. Their retreat centres are located on superb properties, surrounded with gardens, bush and wildlife. The rooms are comfortable, the food is vegetarian and the meditative atmosphere is very healing. Today starts another week-end course, in the Southern highlands, in Wilton,  “Four faces of women”, I will take the train in the after-noon to go there.  BK’s have centres in 70 countries, including Russia.  The BK's offer all their workshops on donation. Tomorrow there is also a worldwide public celebration organised by the Hare Krishna movement, they will be with chariots in the Centre of Sydney, chanting the Hare Krishna mantra and dancing. That would be very colourful, inspiring and good to film, however I have to choose, I cannot be in both places. Sunday evening, I am invited at Evi and Martins place, we met at the BK’s workshop, they have emigrated from Bulgaria. Decisions to make every day, I sometimes don't know until the very last minute what decision is the right one. My body has been telling me to slow down, I suffer from severe back pain, going down my right arm, and I need to take anti-inflammatory pills to calm down, in order to survive the day and get some rest at night.

 

Amma will be in Sydney in 10 days. From here she will be going up to the Gold Coast for the beach retreat I plan to attend her program in Sydney and have not decided for the Gold Coast. However while I am here I have been dreaming about Fiji Islands, I had this dream already the last time I was here, 21 years ago. So if this paradise island does not disappear in the waters with the climate change I might travel there to get more inspiration. Climate change will wake us all up brutally, I think that here in Australia they will suffer more and more from not having enough fresh water, the saline problem is growing rapidly. We will get such extremes of hot and cold climate; there will be lack of fresh water everywhere and lack of food. The last two winters are proofing it, now that the cold is over Germany is suffering from floods. 

 

I saw some good films, at the Art Gallery, on artists’ lives, Frieda Kahlo, Vincent van Gogh, Modigliani and Edward Munch. Van Gogh and Modigliani never sold a single painting during their lifetime. They gave some away, and people took them, but let them live in poverty and die in total despair.  Now their work is sold for millions of dollars. I can feel this despair Vincent and Modi felt. Some of my friends have money, they like my work, they could buy a painting, to encourage me but for some reason they won’t.  Maybe one day when I have left this body, an "Adriana"  will make my descendants multi millionaires? Vincent was a genius; whenever I paint I feel his encouraging energy as if he would like to express something through me he was not able to say in his short life span.  At these privileged moments I feel how much he has given to the world through his art, his love for mankind. My brother used to come once in a while to buy some paintings from me to inspire me to persevere, but now with his divorce he has neither money nor time. My despairing moments last fortunately never too long, I do not blame my friends or family,  I meditate,  step aside and let God take over, he is awakening the genius in me and giving me the courage to never give up, no matter how difficult the situation is.  I send you inspiration; love light, peace and joy and many blessings.

 

Geneva 24.4.06. Today I am counting all my blessings. I feel very grateful for this wonderful trip to Australia, I enjoyed so many wonderful experiences and new insights.  would like to share it with you. It feels somehow as if I just woke up from a wonderful dream, however it is real, I am back, sitting before my PC in Geneva. I left Sydney last Wednesday, 19 of April 06, I managed to take all my paintings, I left my painting material with my friend there and had no problems at the Immigration they stamped my passport and off I went. Coming home was lovely after my 3 ½ months spent in Sydney Australia. I arrived on a sunny spring day, my flat was radiating peace, my dear friend Sabine had taken good care, the flowers, on the kitchen windows were in full bloom. My dear neighbour Simone had taken care of all the administrative work, paid all my bills, so I could just settle in peacefully and rest and overcome the jetlag. Friday morning Stephan came to welcome me back, he has started a vegetable garden in the “Clos”. I put some grains of coriander in pots and transplanted a rosemary plant from my kitchen window to the new garden. After hearing so much about the cold European winter, it was hard to believe that the tulips, bushes and trees are in full bloom. Apparently the weather in Geneva has just changed recently, to welcome me back. The sun has been shining, every day since I am home, it is warm and I went with my bicycle down to the lake, and the Botanical Garden.

 

In the evening I went down to the lake to meditate at the BK centre, Helen told me that Valerian is in the hospital in Paris with a heart problem. We pray for her that she will recover soon, as she is a lovely soul, she has been doing a lot of work ever since she has arrived in Geneva last year and we hope that she will be coming back soon. Before the meditation I planted pink Geraniums, parsley and watered and tended the flowers on the balcony; they were very thirsty for some loving care. Gardening and potting and putting my hands in the Earth makes me feel connected. Now that food is more and more expensive and scarce, our little gardens provide us with some fresh herbs and the flowers to cheer us up. It is important that we learn more about composting and planting and teach it to our children. We rented a family garden when I was a child, so I learnt a lot from my parents; we planted and tended our flowers, veggies and berries all summer on our small plot of land. 

 

Yesterday I called Tamara and Tatjana in Spb, Russia, they said that there are still no green leaves, that it is still cold, hard to get some decent food and that many suffer from influenza. I also paid a visit to Francis, I felt sorry for her that she fell back into the trap of smoking. BK’s are offering next week-end the workshop I already attended in Australia, “4 faces of women”.  Last night we organised the transport, we share cars to drive to the mountains near Grenoble, France. I invited Sabine to come and hope that she will have to courage to let her alcoholic husband alone for a week-end. I plan to go with Nico early on Friday morning to do the shopping for the week-end.  With love

 

Geneva, 5.5.06 If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday you have the opportunity to write a new page. Our lives are shaped daily by the words, thoughts and feelings we impress upon the universe.  Whether the life we create becomes a mystery, a tragedy or an inspirational love story is entirely up to us. People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. The easiest way to make your own life matter is by making certain others know that they matter. It's an unforgettable experience for all concerned. Avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking within. Prepare daily to see beauty, love, joy, peace, prosperity and wholeness. Prepare to see a world filled with goodness, richness and bounty. Prepare to see yourself as the truly remarkable person you are.  Don't be surprised when all that preparation pays off. Every successful person's pathway is littered with failed attempts because success isn't about doing something brilliantly the first time. Success is about trying over and over and over again. It's about never giving up. I find a lot of inspiration while reading books and over the Internet, some websites are so uplifting http://thank-water.net/english/.

 

However there are some difficult chapters to write and the author needs a lot of courage and face all the excuses driving him away. There will always be those around who'll tell you why you shouldn't try. Don't argue, but don't listen, either. Develop selective hearing instead so when your goal is reached you can turn back and say, "Sorry, I was so tuned into what I was accomplishing, I'm afraid I didn't hear what you were saying. What was it again? Chances are the answer will be complimentary, making both of you feel better about everything that was said and heard. "If I had listened to the critics I'd have died drunk in the gutter." ~Anton Chekov, Russian Playwright and Novelist, 1860-1904

 

Geneva, 16.5.2006 A few days before my departure, I met the NSW Director of Ecogreen, Paul Weber. Ecogreen developed environmentally friendly products to clean dirty water, their headquarters are in Australia. For the time being they produce their products in Australia only, however production will eventually be in India and other countries. They are looking for contacts worldwide, to manufacture and sell their products. Clean water is already short in many places, instead of wars and battles over water, Ecogreen we can with these ecosafe products clean up the mess we have created and become rich at the same time. Clean water is the most urgent issue, it is a huge business, just look at all the millions industry makes on bottled water. The human family needs to address, the privatisation of water, it cannot be in the hands of the industry, for we can live without oil, but not without water. My intuition tells me that there is a lot of potential here in Geneva and that we will get rich by promoting these products. You might know someone who could be interested in this business opportunity. Ecogreen manufactures HYDROSMART, an effective chemical free water solution, a Salinity Breakthrough here and now! ULTRAZYME GOLD uses natural bacterial and enzymes, it is bio-degradable, non-toxic and environmentally safe – a powerful cleaner for waste water, odor control, drains, grease traps and septic tanks. HYDROCARB breaks down petrochemical waste, gets rid of waste petrol, oils and lubricant. AQUACLEAN a water cleaner for aquaculture, cleans water nature’s way.

 

If you are searching for meaning in life as well as a good business opportunity this is your chance in a lifetime, study these products, meditate about their impact here as well as in third world countries. I went to get the seed in Australia, now it is time to plant and multiply it here and all around the world. The potential is huge, I invite you to move it forward, either by becoming our partner, distributor or producer of Ecogreen . For a New Direction for Sustaining the Environment please consult the Ecogreen website www.forearth.com.au  or paulw@ecogreen.net.au they are more than happy to assist you with any technical questions you might have.

 

Looking forward to hear from you,

Your freedom loving

adriana

 

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